There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
they need to just BURY HIM!
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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