Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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