I just made out with a guy for $7.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
