Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
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