In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
We left the knife in your bed.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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