so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
