So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
