kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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