I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
