im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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