wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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