Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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