I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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