I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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