Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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