would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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