Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
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