he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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