Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
