Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
