I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Randomize