So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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