Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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