i just wanna soil my oats bro
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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