Buhtt sex?
You smell like stripper and shame
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
