And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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