therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
