..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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