I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
