AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
