I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
He better not be in your backpack
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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