I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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