The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
