I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize