i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
