I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
The power of my boobs compel you
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize