This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
