girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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