apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
