About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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