I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
no, he came in my armpit
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
