I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
