Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
