Sry I called you an 8
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
she looked like the before picture.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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