i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
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