i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
