You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
