you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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