I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
