remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize