After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
