You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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