Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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