is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
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