i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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