I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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