i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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