lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Randomize
