where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
